We’re Human Who Complicate Things

by Yani on March 6, 2012 · 0 comments in Personal

Assalamualaikum wbt and Hi 🙂

Sometimes you have to understand people more than they ever understand you. Sometimes you have to put yourself in their shoes so you, yourself feel what they’re just going through. Sometimes you have to respect other people so they will respect you back. Sometimes you have to do this, sometimes you have to do that and the main thing is you are always end up being the one who started all over.

And truly said, I’m done. Being the person who’s trying hard to understand you and you just dont even cares. Being the person who’s still and learning to respect other people and you give me shit. Being the person who’s trying to put myself in your shoes and yes, I’m failed.

That one simple sorry actually doesn’t mean much for me though yes it is needed sometimes. It is much more important to fix up all the things you’ve done. Not with a sorry, forget and yeah everything seems to come back to the normal. Yes, they once said, “Forgive and forget.” And yes, I’m trying on this too. I would say that I can easily forgive people and get things back to the normal though yes, it takes a while for me to forget. But that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to repeat the same thing you’d did.

Sometimes, I’m forcing myself to stay silent and not saying anything where behind all these things there’s such a big hope, hoping that you would understand me more than I ever understand you, just for once. Or at least, understand me the same level I understand you. Hoping that you would realise what I’m actually want you to know about something even I’m not saying anything, yes I know this kinda hard.

It’s kinda hurt when things doesn’t change that much when I’m trying to put some efforts on it. (Or maybe I have to put much more efforts. I just dont know) The thing is, why should I put that ‘much more’ efforts when you don’t seem to make an effort at all to understand me. To know the real things happened.

Maybe I have to believe that ones had said, women are hardly can be understand. How people would understand me when I’m not even understand myself, right. This feeling make me realise then, the one who I can put the blame on is always me. I did something wrong when I’m pointing to other people. Yes, stupid me -,-‘

Sometimes, I hate myself for not understand my own self, I hate myself for not knowing what I do really want. I hate myself for simply forgive people and it then turns to be a chance for them to keep repeating the same thing. The one thing that hurts me much, sometimes. I hate myself when things ended up with no good benefits.

“Please, don’t be like this.”

“Please, I just joking.”

Maybe you should know, I’m being like this so you can take yourself even a minute or two, or maybe a second! Just to think, what’d you actually did. Not simply asked me, “What I’ve done wrong?” Sometimes, yeah you have to realise by your own self.

Maybe you should also know, jokes also have their limit. When it comes into repeating the same jokes or that’s-what-you-called-as-a-joke-when-for-me-it’s-not-a-joke-at-all you actually just hurt others’ feeling. Yeah, my feeling to be exact. (Lol. Am I being this sensitive?! Ugh) I just don’t know if I’m the only person who feels this.

And all things finally ended with you’re the one who complicate things, the one who over think too much, the one who cared too much, the one who is demanding too much, the one who being sensitive too much and else. AND YES, IT’S ALL MY FAULT. MY FAULT.

Avoid hurting the hearts of others, the poison of your pain will return to you. — Native American Code of Ethics

“Keep your thoughts cleaner than pure water. As water drops make a river, thoughts make character and faith.”
— Imam Ali (as)

And, yes. I’m trying.

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